TICKLE AND THE IVORIES - THE WORLD'S BEST-LOVED ELEPHANT POLO TEAM !

Tickle and the Ivories is an elephant polo team based pretty much everywhere. The head office of the team has recently moved to Sydney but we have branch offices in Singapore, Hong Kong, Dubai and a roving Winnebago in the USA. Our present and past team members are American, Australian, British and Irish nationals. Kiwis and Tongans are currently banned from joining the team.

The sport was nominally governed by the World Elephant Polo Association (WEPA), which used to host the World Championships in Nepal every December. Due to the uncertain and dangerous political situation in Nepal as well as advancing senile dementia, the Thai Elephant Polo Association (TEPA) has become the organizer of the pre-eminent global tournament held in Thailand every September.

Regular visitors to the site (mainly former team members who are expecting a well-deserved flaming - and you know who you are you dropkicks) will have noticed that 'Song Of The Week', our much-loved feature whereby we steal piano masterpieces off the internet and present them here for your listening pleasure has returned after a long absence. So without further ado, here is our first ever 'Song Of The Week', and based on the frequency of updates to this website, you will soon be thoroughly sick of Chopin as 'Song Of The Week' slowly morphs into 'Song Of The Decade'. Click (or right click) here to download a 1.7 Meg version of Chopin's Waltz in D flat major, opus 64, No. 1. This is commonly known as the 'Minute Waltz' but when played as fast as humanly possible takes more than a minute, in fact 1 minute, 46 seconds (as you will hear) as the bare minimum. Don't blame us this is not our fault. Here are some mesmerising facts that recently floored us:

Fact 4: Hugh Grant 'starred' [cough] as Chopin in the 1991 movie 'Impromptu' that no one has ever seen or even heard of

Fact 5: At least three of the team (Tiger, Trapper & Top Talon) are regularly stopped in public and asked for their autographs due to an uncanny resemblance to Hugh Grant.

A spooky set of coincidences don't you agree ? Credit where it's due, the Minute Waltz was downloaded from Piano Paradise. Help yourselves to some more free Chopin.

We are delighted to be able to accept donations via PAYPAL or CREDIT CARDS. Just click on the icon below to help fund the team and its causes. We will be notified via a GMAIL email account with the username: 'uninhabited'. The link is secure and transactions take place on the www.paypal.com website. So don't be shy ...

TEAM ANNOUNCEMENTS

Apply now to play in Thailand September 2006 !

Below is a gripping account of the team's performance in Sri Lanka this year:

On day 1, The Taprobane Trophy kicked off with a massive upset as Tickle & Ivories beat the defending world champions, CHIVAS Scotland, by 6 -2 behind the phenomenal play of Daniel Ladd-Hudson aka "Trapper" who scored 5 goals in leading his team to victory. In the second game of the day vs. the Hong Kong team, the Tickles managed a well fought team victory of 6-2 and Lynn's backhand goal was the shot of the game. So, at the end of Day 1, both the Taprobane Tuskers and the Tickles led the league with optimum points from their pachyderm endeavors.

Day 2, a terrific first game saw the Three Nellies from England play a superb game and had the Tickles quite concerned but in the end the Tickles prevailed 4-2 on the back of Lynn "Tantalize" Roslan's terrific defensive, but on a tremendous effort by star scorer "Trapper" to score the fourth goal of the game he took a hard fall and severely sprained his hand. The crowd was aghast and the team severely concerned about his condition and future hopes for the tournament finals. The final game of the day saw the Tickles nearly beat the Taprobane Tuskers and knock them out of the playoffs but the score ended in a 1-1 draw and both teams would meet in the Finals the next day. Tantalize and David "Trifecta" Kast played sensational defence in keeping the Tuskers at bay until late in the second half. Trapper was amazingly suited up and riding but requested to rest his ailing wrist for the finals the next day. Trifecta had the hit of the game nearly scoring a goal from the Tickles end of the field that dribbled into the D but alas that was as close as they would come to scoring but keep in mind they were playing without the scoring machine Trapper who was nursing a severely injured wrist from the previous game.

All is all at the end of the day The Tickles & Ivories booked a place in the Finals

A warm sunny & serene Galle dawn welcomed Taprobane Finals Day in this historic city on the southwest tip of Sri Lanka. Both the Fort and the Cricket stands filled to the brim in anticipation of the finals.

A magnificent performance by the Sri Lankan Army band set the scene for the Grand Final between the Taprobane Tuskers and Tickle & Ivories - a repeat of the 2004 Taprobane Final. Taprobane won the toss, and selected elephants, while the Tickles defended the Fort end. A strong performance from the Tickles put them in good shape at 3-0 as the half-time bell rung but a costly penalty shot missed by Trifecta and a goal that was disallowed per the committee's deliberating that the referee should have stopped play per a stick being dropped by a Tusker would loom large for the Tickles. A nervous Kristjan Edwards appeared concerned as the 2nd half approached - the crowds sensed a possible upset as the Tickles had made the most unlikely of sporting gestures and requested that their handicap be taken away in order to play the Tuskers even up.

To a blaze of local excitement the 2nd chukka started - and the Tuskers responded quickly as a blunder in strategy by Trifecta had the Tickles scrambling as the slowest elephant was placed on defense. Once he realized this he made a switch that saw Tantalize (defensive player of the day) and Trapper (playing in pain but never uttering a word of complaint was the true team player and warrior of the day) quickly subdue the Tuskers scoring efforts and even position them for a possible Tickles goal but Dobbs would make a great clearing hit to stop the threat and the Tuskers would prevail 5-3. At 4-3 with 40 seconds remaining the Tickles all lined up near the middle in hopes of winning the drop and making a last second attempt at tying the score but instead saw their hopes fade as the Tuskers scored into an empty goal.

A disappointed Tickle & Ivories were left to dream of what might have been, and are anxious for their next tournament to further the Tickles quest for a championship!

We're also delighted to be able to support the WWF (World Wildlife Fund) Thailand.

Led by Tournament Captain, Trifecta, the team came 2nd in a very close tournamnet

On a good day, the links in the left-hand column all work. Potential sponsors in particular are encouraged to browse the site and imagine their corporate logos on banners in all the photos.