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In polite circles this might also be know as the FAQ
or Frequently-Asked Questions section. There is also a Glossary at the end
of this section. For a bit of a giggle, check out the 'Team Information'
section where the really dumb questions asked by the team are
documented.
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
This sport and your team has to be a joke ?
Well actually in a non-serious sort of way, we are a
serious team and actually play on elephants as pictured in the 'Photos'
section.
Have any of you played horse polo before ?
No.
What experience do you need with elephants ?
None. Some level of physical fitness and an eye for ball sports does help
though.
Could you suggest some good chat-up lines to be used in bars ?
Uh ... well ... yes ... but this is supposed to be about elephant polo ?
Do the elephants smell ? (from CH in Austin, Texas)
Surprisingly, even if you happen to be standing at the
wrong end when yesterday's lunch passes through, they don't. As for
the players, well that's another story !
How many on a team ?
For the World Elephant Polo Championships in Nepal, there are four team
members on the field at any one time. A team is permitted a maximum of eight
players for any tournament and can rotate players between chukkas. In other
words, there are nine elephants (two teams and the umpire's elephant) on the
field for a given game. The newer tournaments in Thailand and Sri Lanka
have, previously, played with only three players (and elephants) per side,
and hence a maximum team size of six players.
Do the players drive the elephants ?
No. It takes year's of training to become a mahout (elephant driver).
Players communicate with the mahout who in turn steers the elephant.
What is the botanical name for
wasabi ?
Wasabi is basically the finely grated root of Wasabia japonica
member of the cabbage family.
Why are there three people per elephant in the photos ? (from TP in
Dubai, UAE)
The photos on this site (and the official WEPA and King's Cup sites) will
show the following numbers of people on elephants:
-
Zero - This means the elephant is on the run
making a break for freedom (just kidding, it's mahout wouldn't be far)
-
One - The mahouts in a Nepal have a game
called the All-Nepal Challenge. They play and steer the elephants by
themselves. They are damn good. All of them
-
Two - The tournaments are played with a
mahout and a player sitting behind him
-
Three or more - The referee elephant (in
Nepal & Thailand) will carry a mahout, the referee (duh !) and sometimes a
camera crew, spectators, thrill-seekers ... Some teams arrange shots with
four or more of the team on an elephant. They are considered media-hungry
show-offs. Our team too consists of media-hungry show-offs but we weren't
organised enough in our debut season to arrange any such shots
How do you practice ? (if we had a dollar for every time this has
been asked ...)
There is a practice day on the Sunday before the Nepal tournament and four
practice days before the Thai Tournament. Apart from that it probably comes
as no surprise that we find it difficult to practice. Being the ever
versatile team, we do however regularly meet in bars around Asia to talk
about how we should perhaps buy a team ladder. (If only that was a joke ...)
Do you hire local elephants for the tournaments ? If Yes, wouldn't that
mean a home town advantage as they would save the best elephants for
themselves ? (from TP in Dubai, UAE)
The tournament organisers hire (or in some cases own) the elephants. The
elephants are divided into roughly equal groups of four (Nepal) and three
(Thailand and Sri Lanka) based on size and speed. They remain in these
groups for the tournament. Some of the photos show elephants with A, B, C,
or D on their foreheads (which is chalk and washes off). The A and B
elephants will play one entire game against each other. The teams swap A
elephants for B elephants after the first chukka (ie half-time), and
vice-versa. The A and B elephants then rest during the next game and the C
and D elephants are used.
Do the male and female players play in different competitions ?
No. There are in fact all-female, all-male and mixed teams. All play in the
same tournaments. The rules permit women to play with two hands. Men are
only permitted to play with their right hands. Debate can often be heard ad
nauseam between the sexes as to whether this is fair or not.
Are the elephants noisy ?
They can be. They sometimes trumpet when cold, hungry or scared. For example
the elephants will generally trumpet when the Yeti Airlines flight from
Kathmandu arrives (and lands right next to the playing field). This is
because they are scared. Players too are often cold, hungry and scared
onboard Yeti Airlines flights.
But isn't it cruel ? Do you hurt the elephants ? Who gives you the right
to play with wild creatures ? [we've received many such questions around
the same, ill-informed theme ...]
THE SHORT ANSWER:
No. It is not cruel and the 'seasoned' elephants genuinely seem to enjoy,
and in some cases understand the game.
THE LONG-WINDED ANSWER:
Some have taken umbrage with these majestic creatures being used for silly
human purposes. If you have a philosophical belief that humankind made a
tragic mistake by domesticating the common dog (about 12,000 years ago),
then you're using the same logic as all the other sheep (10,000 years ago)
who've written in. So we're probably never going to agree because you really
are a silly donkey (6,000 years ago). So get on with your anonymous death
threats if you must and get it out of your system (and don't let us catch
you playing Frisbee with Rufus, Patch, Max, Molly, Gangsta or Fido because
that's just plain cruel !). Realistically though, elephants have similarly
been tamed (rather than domesticated) for thousands of years. Think
'Hannibal'. (For the purists, see "Guns, Germs, and Steel" by Jared Diamond,
which explains the distinction)
If your objection to the sport is a little more focused, and is along the
lines that you think the mahouts carry sticks and sometimes beat the
elephants, then you'd be right. If you think that the elephants 'hurt' when
hit, then there is a good chance that you'd be wrong. The mahouts generally
carry a bamboo stick and metal prod with a pointy spike which has a name
that for now escapes us. Let's agree to call it 'The Prod'. Now consider
this:
-
The elephants are mostly steered by the mahout
pressing his feet behind the elephant's ears as well as verbal commands
-
The bamboo stick will occasionally be used to guide
the elephant
The elephants are literally thick skinned (0.8 to 1.6 inches or 2 to 4 cm
according to www.chaffeezoo.org )
-
Good mahouts rarely, if ever, use the prod
-
The elephants are vociferous animals. They seldom
'complain' when hit which leads us to believe that they don't generally
hurt when hit with the bamboo stick
-
If the mahout drops either the stick or the prod,
he will verbally instruct the elephant to pick it up with its trunk. It
always does
-
Experienced elephants have been know to kick the
ball through the goals. The experienced players believe they understand
what they're doing
-
During tournaments the elephants exercise more than
they normally would and are hence fed more than normal
This is of course anecdotal evidence, but the
elephants associated with polo are in fine condition and genuinely seem to
enjoy the tournaments. This is not to say that all mahouts in Asia treat
their elephants well. There are many which are treated extremely badly.
Similarly, the dwindling wild herds often face less-then-pleasant encounters
with humanity. It is the firm belief of the team that well-treated working
elephants will do more to ensure the survival of the species than simply
protecting them in the wild, although this is also a valid and compatible
goal.
submit further questions to the team:
questions@tickle-and-the-ivories.com
GLOSSARY
ROGUE ELEPHANT - See
ROGUE TRADER
ROGUE TRADER - A smart arse who does a
lot of damage, ruins a few lives, bolts from the scene of the crime but is
eventually cornered and punished
MUDDLE IN THE MIDDLE - An expression,
attributed to Colonel Raj Kalaan, a veteran on the elephant polo circuit,
which describes the chaos which ensues when four or more elephants, descend
upon a tiny, near-invisible polo ball
JODHPURS - Stretchy, tight-fitting
trousers with padding in odd places. Used extensively by the horse-riding
set. We are led to believe that all male players find them refreshingly
comfortable to wear. We cannot however find a single male who will admit to
this in public
PITH HELMET - Mandatory head protection
worn by all players and mahouts. There is no denying that pith helmets are
colonial-era anachronisms best worn with safari suits. The amount of
protection afforded by a pith helmet lies somewhere between that of a Bloody
Mary and a K-Mart shopping bag
TAKING THE PITH - Pre-game ritual
whereby players choose pith helmets from the communal pool. Also refers to
post-game analysis of matches by Tickle players
TAKING A PITH - Pre-game ritual whereby
there is always one less pith helmet than Tickle players
PITH OFF - The deliberate removal of
one's pith helmet during a game in order that it can 'accidentally' fall to
the ground resulting in the stopping of play. See
CHEATING BY OTHER TEAMS
CHUKKA - One half of an elephant polo
match. Usually 7 1/2 or 10 minutes of elapsed time (in other words the clock
stops when the ball is not in play)
CHUKKA-UP - None of the team have yet
admitted to this form of behaviour
CHUKKA-WOBBLY - 'Spit the dummy'; 'Throw
a tantrum' etc. Unsportsmanlike behaviour rarely seen in Tickle players
YETI AIRLINES - The airline used to fly
players between Kathmandu and the Royal Chitwan National Park. Think of it
as the Himalayan Magic Mountain Roller Coaster Ride !
FOUL - Hooking other player's sticks for
example is considered a foul
FOUL LANGUAGE - Often used by team
members on each other as a substitute for any meaningful advice, as in "You
well and truly cocked up that shot didn't you Crackerjack"
STICK - The long bamboo device,
resembling an overgrown croquet stick, used to hit the ball, hook other
team's sticks, ward off rabid dogs and so on
TICKLE AND THE IVORIES - This is just
the team's name. And no we don't think the team should be called 'TICKLE THE
IVORIES' as this is the popular expression for playing a keyboard from which
the team's name was derived in the first place
THE TICKLERS - An affectionate, and
abbreviated form of the team's name
THE TICKLES - A term much disliked by
the team as it sounds to her like the name of a performing sex troupe, or at
the very least topless Parisian can-can dancers
TICKLE STICKS - Weapons of mass
destruction amusement which will be displayed in Nepal 2002 for the first
time
TICKLE TASKS - The tediously boring
duties usually assigned to new team members
TICKLE TARTS - Groupies the team tends
to attract at every tournament. While this term might appear to be
politically incorrect to Americans, we would like to point out that the team
is non-sexist and that this term applies to groupies of all three sexes
TICKLE TIME - The time The Ticklers
arrive at the field for a match (always early). Also refers to the time the
team finally gets to bed after a big night of drinking (always late)
TICKLE TOPS - A collection of off-field
shirts and blouses being developed for tickle players, tickle supporters and
tickle tarts. Contains the phrase "We gave them stick
at [insert name of tournament and date]"
TICKLE TRACKS - A collection of songs
(classical piano pieces such as Mozart's "Alla Turca"; Men At Work's "Down
Under"; Jethro Tull's "Bungle In The Jungle", and so on) the team hopes to
play on the PA system before all of its matches. Rousing music is
acknowledged as a cheap but effective substitute to the garrulous
motivational blither that is sometimes uttered by the captain.
TICKLED PINK - Refers to both a sub-set
of the TICKLE TOPS and the general
delight felt by the team when a new record (drinking, goal scoring etc) is
broken by the team |
